I Have Arrived
by SaturnineSunshine
Summary: GG S1 flashbacks with summer fluff. "He was suddenly so afraid of losing her. He could lose her to someone with more experience. He could be debonair and dapper. He could wear three piece suits and drink single malt scotch. He could be his best friend."


**A/N**: Yay, another Nate POV. This is a little one-shot simple off this quote I found hilarious on the Daily Intel Reality Index this week "Dumb ass Nate should have instantly realized Blair's fake sex groan was fake" and you should definitely read it 'cause its awesome. Sorry for the slight Nairness, but I promise it gets better. I have to say I am really proud of this and love it a lot. A little semi-fluff (Chair sex) before everything goes to hell. ='(

**Summary**: He was suddenly so afraid of losing her. He could lose her to someone with more experience. He could be debonair and dapper. He could wear three piece suits and drink single malt scotch. He could be his best friend.

**Disclaimer**: Nothing belongs to me and the prompt that isn't officially a prompt goes to Daily Intel commentors because I wish I could be as witty as them.

* * *

"Do you need help?"

In a nutshell, that was Nathaniel Archibald's relationship with the pristine Park Avenue Princess Blair Cornelia Waldorf.

Condescension. It was the way her eye brows quirked as he tried angling his hips just right. And her scrutiny was not helping him in that department.

Nate remembered that night. He remembered Cotillion when Blair had spontaneously pulled him from outside to the upstairs and showered him with slow and passionate kisses. He had never felt anything like it before from her and wondered why Chuck was so adamant when he told Nate to forget about her.

He of course knew better now. Sometimes it was slightly insulting to think back to those days. He hadn't thought that it went back that far. He hadn't thought that during the winter of their Junior year, Chuck Bass was already in love with his girlfriend.

He didn't mean to be insulted. It wasn't anything like that. He knew that Chuck had a certain appeal to women even if he couldn't figure out why. Nate was sweet and good natured. He was the All-American lacrosse and track star. Then again, Chuck was the alluring bad boy with eccentric good looks and even more eccentric clothing.

In his wildest dreams, he never would have thought Blair would have fallen victim to that disease. The disease of waking up in some guy's bed to find that he was already on his next conquest. Blair was one of Chuck's greatest friends and she should have known better.

Then again, maybe that's why it happened. She was the only girl that actually knew him. If not, Chuck would have just bled her dry like he did all of those other girls and moved on. But Nate remembered those looks of desire and lust that never ceased. It had never occurred to him that this was Chuck Bass in love. This was his best friend in love with his girlfriend.

In retrospect, Nate wondered if it was really Blair he wanted again. He remembered when he noticed her again. She was laughing with real joy in her eyes, flipping back her dark curls vivaciously. He had never seen her like that.

He knew that mistake. Because now he saw it every time he walked into his best friend's suite at The Empire.

He knew that he liked the bubbly side of women. He didn't like them too complicated because then he couldn't understand them. Chuck could always read subtext. He wondered why he really hadn't seen it before because Chuck was always the one who had to decode Blair's nuances and tell him the precise thing to do. If it wasn't for Chuck, he was sure that Nate&Blair wouldn't have survived even as long as they did.

Nate knew who he really wanted. He wanted someone like Serena who was light and carefree. But that wasn't what he got. Because right after Cotillion, Blair just became complicated again. He wouldn't have guessed that at the end of the year he would see Chuck twirling her around the dance floor again, them making out for all the world to see.

It was always Chuck. That was something that he just had to understand. Because he knew as he shifted over Blair awkwardly the first and only time in that hotel room, something was just not right. She was looking at him expectantly.

He pushed away those traitorous thoughts because they never did him any good. They got his father arrested and made Blair slam limo doors in his face. So he hovered above her, wondering exactly what he was doing wrong because when it was with Serena, everything felt so right.

"Do you need help?" Blair asked condescendingly. That wasn't the face of a girl who was about to lose her virginity to her golden boyfriend. This girl was bored as if this story was already tired. And for one frightening moment, Nate wondered if Blair could truly know more about sex than he did. He only did it once and he was hammered.

Blair leaned back on her elbows, studying the bumps on the ceiling.

And she waited.

"Nate," she said softly, looking at him with something he could only classify as disappointment. She pushed him back slightly on his chest so he leaned back. She laid a fierce kiss on his lips that he didn't understand. This was supposed to be gentle. He was supposed to be gentle with her.

Wasn't he?

"What are you doing?" Nate questioned in confusion. It was the first time he saw hesitation in Blair's eyes that night.

"I..."

"I'll take care of you," he promised. "I'm going to take care of you tonight."

Blair leaned back again, but there was a strange flicker of familiarity in her eyes. She closed her eyes and Nate had to wonder. He had made Blair cry before but this just didn't make sense. His worries were wiped away when she opened her eyes again and they were clear.

"Then do it."

There was a sense of finality in her voice. He had to wonder if it sounded like dry boredom or even... regret. So he leaned into her again and he tried.

He had been so confident that night. Or he was supposed to be. He already had sex and she had none so he could please her.

He didn't remember how Serena sounded. He was so hazy from the champagne and adrenaline that all he could hear was the pumping of blood in his own ears.

This was very different. He had a sense of clarity that told him that ache in his gut was not love but foreboding. He rocked against her and she just stared at him. He was almost sure that was definitely disappointment in her eyes.

And he waited.

He waited for the sounds to come. Even though he couldn't remember Serena's, he knew they were supposed to come. But she just kept staring. Fear drowned out all other senses and he was suddenly very afraid. He was suddenly so afraid of losing her. He could lose her to someone with more experience. He could be debonair and dapper. He could wear three piece suits and drink single malt scotch.

He could be his best friend.

But it wasn't. It just wasn't. He was sure of this because she finally opened her mouth. She made sounds that Nate were sure he inspired. He didn't know that women sounded like that but then again, he barely remembered losing his virginity.

Her sounds began to mount and he grew increasingly more confident as he moved to a primal pace that he was sure was right.

And then he saw it.

That glint in her eye. In the dark lights of the city, he was sure that Blair Waldorf had just rolled her eyes at him. He couldn't be positive, however, because he was thrown for a loop. She suddenly wrapped her legs tightly around his waist and moved violently against him.

He had never felt anything like it and suddenly his vision was just a burst of white. He collapsed next to her, trying to catch his breath. But she wasn't next to him anymore.

He watched in confusion as she pulled minimal amount of clothing and and shut the bathroom door behind her. As he listened to the water running, he realized that through the time when his girlfriend was losing her virginity to the love of her life, she didn't even break a sweat.

And she hadn't even climaxed.

.

The summer before Nate had found Serena again was like the second coming. He had returned with Bree Buckley (before that all went to hell) back to the city.

To Nate, Gossip Girl was a hassle. She posted vicious rumors about people, even if they were most of the time true. When he went backpacking through Europe, he had forgotten his phone. He returned on that jet to the states when he should have been careful.

He had known for a long time that Chuck was in love with Blair. Nate didn't like putting the pieces together because looking back at his stupidity and disillusionment of 11th grade was just painful. He should have seen the stolen glances and vaguely hidden innuendos. But he just didn't.

But most of all, he missed the blast that announced that once and forever soul mates C and B had rekindled their passionate love and everyone should knock before they enter a room. It was for their own safety.

Nate really should have heeded.

He didn't call Chuck, wanting to surprise him when he was the one who was surprised. He entered Chuck's suite to a sight that was forever ingrained into his memory. He turned the corner and there they were.

Blair was sitting on Chuck's dresser, her summer dress pushed up past her thighs while Chuck stood in front of her, mostly clothed.

But not all the way.

Blair's face was turned to the side, her eyes screwed shut when the dresser hit the wall repeatedly to the erratic rhythm.

Nate couldn't help but stare. He watched Blair clutch the side of the dresser for leverage as she bit her lip, trying not to call out when Nate a vivid flashback. And it was something that, once again, had Blair shattering his ego.

All he could think of was Blair's wide unfeeling eyes staring up at him as he was drenched in sweat while she didn't shed a drop. And this was different. And it all made sense now.

Blair squirmed jarringly beneath Chuck, persperation making her skin slick, as he pressed a smug smirk to her damp neck. That wasn't at all good for his ego. Her legs were wrapped high on his back as he braced one hand above her head, while the other descended her waist as his thighs slammed against the dresser.

Nate really hoped the neighbors weren't complainers.

Nate really should have turned around. Obviously Chuck and Blair were back together and Nate was just naïve. He would have done so if he didn't hear the gravelly tone that he never heard Chuck take with anyone.

Not ever.

"It's okay, kitten," he rasped breathlessly. "You can scream for me."

One of Blair's hands left the marks it had made in the dresser as she scraped it down Chuck's clothed back. She was trying to take in deep breaths of air and Nate felt nauseous. She didn't have any breath to take. She didn't have any breath to even scream.

"Make me, Bass."

"Gladly."

That was when Nate turned around and closed the door behind him quietly.

He could tell Chuck that he was back in town a couple hours later.

"You ruined my manicure."

"Yeah? You ruined the varnish on that dresser."


End file.
